Well good morning Mr. Block. Lovely seeing you again. Just in case you aren’t that swift, that last sentence was indeed dripping with sarcasm. Well, I can’t stand it anymore. I have things to say, and you are blocking me. What’s the deal?
I close my eyes and I’m nose to nose with this great, dark wall. This huge insurmountable thing, it obscures everything. It’s dark and scary and seems like it could engulf me, if it wasn’t so solid and thick.
Well no wonder I’m having trouble getting started! That is one big freaky writer’s block. And then I notice my competitive streak is waking up, “Insurmountable, pshaw. We can do this, don’t be a wimp, let’s pound it to a pulp and breakthrough to the other side!”
Wait, wait, wait. Now how can beating myself up help? Because yes, despite having all these conversations with all these different things, I realize this is all part of me. I don’t want to force myself, I don’t want to be mean to myself, I don’t want to make myself do it.
I close my eyes again and take a step back. A sliver of gorgeous blue sky appears. Another step back, and another, looking all around me. I’m standing in the middle of this beautiful meadow, with a creek running behind me. Lovely trees, wild flowers, mountains in the distance.
That big dark foreboding block? It’s an old falling down rock wall. The mortar has turned to dust. A gentle tap and the rocks tumble down. It only seemed like a big, horrible, insurmountable wall because I had my nose pressed up against it. A step back, a little perspective, some gentle questioning, and like magic, I write.
Image by hball via flickr, used under a creative commons license.
It’s great to see you back again. I like this entry – I’ve felt the same blocks, the same bits of myself fighting with each other!
Joely Black’s last blog post..Pepsi Max should totally sponsor Amnar and other stories
Awesome, awesome, awesome! So happy for you with this and I love this story.
James | Dancing Geek’s last blog post..The Happiness Hypothesis: Progress report March 2009
Yes! How cool is this? Acceptance can be so transforming. Thanks for this description, what a wonderful guide! :)
Eileen
Eileen’s last blog post..Getting fixed.
Wow, that’s such a great analogy. Sometimes we’re just so close to something that we can’t see it for what it really is. Or that it doesn’t mean what we thought it did.
I know it wasn’t mean simply as an analogy, but really you’ve cleared things out with your imagery. I love it! :)
Nathalie Lussier’s last blog post..No More Goody-Two-Shoes
Shannon one of the things I like about your blog and your coaching, you show us you’ve walked the walk that we often feel alone in and thru your sharing show us we too can get to the other side. Hope to see you blogging away more, chai been getting cold.
Thanks Joely and James and Eileen and Nathalie and Susan!
[…] I recognize that not using it every day is part of that resistance to daily routine. I also know that resistance isn’t always as bad as it seems. […]